A Bittersweet Life
by E. Gabrielle
Summary: Kagome goes through the well too far back into the past, seeing familiar faces, but none that recognize her. 2 jewels, stranded, and helpless, Kagome seeks Sesshomaru. But she never thought she would have to trade, with great reluctance, everything that
1. Chapter 1

It wasn't just hot outside, it was sweltering. The sun beat down with a furious vengeance after being held away for so long. The usually busy streets that were densely populated during the cooler months were now only making way for a slow trickle of people who were in no mood to lollygag along. It was simply too hot to walk slowly in this heat. Everyone was seeking reprieve from the agony, including Kagome. But, unlike most of her family's neighbors, her schoolmates, and others, she wasn't spending her time swimming at the community pool, enjoying the leisure of the beach, or relaxing in her air conditioned home. On the contrary, she was doing what she normally did once summer appeared, in all its glory. She was in a frenzy to go where she usually went; down the well and back to the feudal era. She knew Inuyasha was probably becoming annoyed waiting for her, and the rest of the gang was likely to share his impatience.

"Okaasan!" Kagome called, hoping her mother could hear her over the loud television. "Have you seen my toothbrush?"

Kagome heard the familiar sound of the pattering of feet against the stairs, and she smiled when her mother appeared in her bedroom doorway, holding up her pink toothbrush.

"Thanks Okaasan!" Kagome said, stuffing it into her already full backpack. This time, she was sure to bring extra food, clothing, toiletries, and whatnot. She wouldn't be coming back anytime soon, considering she was on summer break.

"Going again, Kagome-chan?" her mother asked, concern built up on her face.

"Of course, its summer and I have nothing else to do. I promised Inuyasha that I would be there extra long this time." Kagome said, trying for the 10th time to close her yellow backpack. The darn thing just refused to bend to her will.

"Maybe you should stay a bit longer with us. You know…I'm sure your friends miss you and want to spend time with you, Kagome-chan. I don't think it's good that you spend so much time over there. Sometimes, I think you forget that you have a life here."

Kagome slowly stopped trying to close her bag, her hands coming to a halt. She looked up at her mother and noticed the look on concern on her face. Kagome could feel a pang in her heart, the kind that comes with the onslaught of guilt. Kagome couldn't lie; she did feel guilty for not being here. But, she had a responsibility toward her friends, and affections for Inuyasha that she couldn't exactly control. She knew, with all her heart, that she belonged there. Her life wasn't here. Walking toward her Okaasan, she wrapped her arms around her, resting her head on her shoulder.

"I'll be ok. I'll try coming back more often this summer, instead of what I planned. I just…I just feel so "at home" there. I don't understand it, but I know I belong there and I have a duty toward my friends. Also, there is Inuyasha…" she said, not ready to really talk about that relationship with her mom. She knew she suspected that they harbored more than friendly feelings for each other, but what she didn't know about were the tender moments between them. The intense feeling Kagome got when she saw Inuyasha, the plague of love that had invaded her heart and was slowly taking over her. She loved him, she truly did.

Kagome felt her mom cup her face in her hands and plant a kiss on her cheek.

"I know you'll be ok. Just come back often, Kagome-chan." She said, her voice slightly broken as she left the room.

Kagome nearly fell down the stairs as she struggled under the weight of her backpack. It was a arduous task carrying the pack on her back while dragging the bike along with her. Kagome's hand swiftly reached up to her neck as a precaution as she neared the shrine. She toyed with the familiar half sphere that she guarded around her neck at all times. She always had the habit of making sure she was carrying the Shikon no Tama with her as she made her way toward the shrine. She didn't dare to think of what Inuyasha would do if she lost it. They had already gone through enough trouble securing the bit that hung around her neck, and to lose it would be horrible.

Kagome sighed, relieved.

"I made it, yet again." She said to herself, albeit a little puzzled. Inuyasha hadn't shown up yet, and she was becoming tired with waiting in the depths of the well. He usually caught her scent the second she arrived, thus rushing to help her out.

Kagome sighed again, reasoning that he was possibly too far away to notice she arrived. She would just have to climb out herself.

(30 minutes later)

Frazzled, aching, and far from languid, Kagome had successfully climbed out of the well, a task that proved to be more difficult than usual, considering she had to get her bike and heavy backpack up with her. Kagome wheeled her bike along, looking around. Things were oddly silent, save for the crowing of a few black sparrows that flew overhead, somewhat circling around her. The sight along with the silence gave her an eerie chill, causing her to bite her lip.

"Things are never usually this quiet…" Kagome whispered to herself, unsure of what to make of the situation. She hoped nothing happened when she was away.

Quickening her pace, she saw the outline of the familiar village. Little huts were scattered everywhere along dirt paths that had flattened out smoothly with time. The forest trees loomed around it, giving the impression that they were guarding the villagers there. The sun had begun to rescind its presence as the tranquil evening drew near. A soft breeze bellowed, ruffling Kagome's hair slightly.

"Maybe Kaede-baba would know what is going on," Kagome pondered out loud, already moving toward the hut at the edge of the village. For some reason, one Kagome couldn't exactly pinpoint, it looked a little different than usual. She pulled aside the straw that was the entrance, and walked in carefully.

"Kaede-baba?" Kagome called out, an uneasy tension grappling her stomach. Looking around, Kagome noticed she was speaking to the silence. The hut was bare, save for the usual few things. Kagome strode back outside, and took a look around the village. Dusk had already descended.

"The villagers should be back soon, it is getting late." She said to herself. She smiled faintly, recognizing that she had been talking to herself nearly the entire day. She felt foolish.

Kagome set her bike by Kaede-baba's hut and walked toward the rice fields. If anywhere, she may be there.

Kagome looked ahead of the path and heard the familiar sound of the villagers. Their voices were hushed, yet polite and cheerful. Another day of gratifying work was done. Kagome walked toward them, and noticed a young girl running ahead.

"_Why does her face look like someone I know…?"_ Kagome questioned in her mind. The girl was smiling, the sound of her high pitched laughter ringing out, as if it gave light to the darkness that was coming around.

"Kaede-chan! Don't run ahead!"

Kagome froze, her mouth slightly agape, and her eyes wide with disbelief. She must have heard wrong, she must have. _"That voice…"_ another mental thought.

"Kikyo-sama, let the girl be. She was an avid rice worker today. Her laughter scares the darkness away." A male voice rang out, lightly chiding the woman who had reprimanded the running girl.

Kagome looked up. The villagers were nearing her. But it wasn't just the villagers that were walking in her direction, but the one woman she wasn't expecting to be in confrontation with.

Kikyo and Kagome locked eyes, eyes that looked so similar, yet that were so different.

Kikyo looked taken aback, her face switching from confusion to a defensive expression. Kagome saw Kikyo clutch her bow harder, looking as if she were battling with herself to attack.

The villagers came to a abrupt halt behind her. Their faces too displayed nothing more than pure bewilderment.

"Go ahead, I will be in the village shortly." Kikyo said firmly.

"But Onee-sama –"

"Go. Jiro-san, lead everyone ahead.

"Yes, Kikyo-sama," said the village man, bowing slightly and walking ahead quickly, pushing Kaede along.

The slight breeze and dark night glowered around them, and Kagome could slightly feel the pull of the Shikon no Tama. The same complete Shikon no Tama that was hanging around Kikyo's neck.

"Identify yourself!" Kikyo demanded, pointing an arrow at her.

Kagome stepped back slightly, her eyes wide and her face taking on a deathly pallor.

"Wait…you, you don't recognize me?" Kagome questioned, her voice wavering.

"Should I recognize you? All that I recognize is you look a lot like me." Kikyo scoffed, holding her head up.

Kagome kept silent, feeling caught and confused. She couldn't make out what was going on. _"Why is the Shikon no Tama around Kikyo's neck when I can still feel half of it around mine? Why is Kaede-baba a child, where is Inuyasha, and why is Kikyo alive?" _the thoughts ran through her mind making her feel sick. Maybe she really was sick, maybe this was a nightmare, maybe she was feverish…

Kagome pinched her arm and blinked. _"Nope… this really isn't a nightmare."_

"Where is Inuyasha?" Kagome said with slightly more courage in her voice.

Now it was Kikyo who went white, her face reverting back to the initial bafflement that it had when they first locked eyes.

"Inuyasha?" Kikyo questioned, his name sliding off her tongue slowly.

"Yes, Inuyasha" Kagome retorted.

"What do you know of him?" Kikyo questioned, emphasizing that she was holding an arrow at Kagome by thrusting the bow and arrow forward.

"I…I know that he…" Kagome began, but stopped herself as it dawned upon her. Kikyo was still alive, she had a complete Shikon no Tama, Kaede baba was a child, no Sango, Miroku, Shippo, and she hadn't even caught sight of Inuyasha. She was taken too far into the past. It was the past that she wasn't even a part of. The one she had no place in. Her mind went back to Inuyasha. She knew a lot more about him than Kikyo probably did, but not now. Now, she wouldn't even know the Inuyasha she was in love with. Kagome knew she should tread carefully.

"I…I'm from a village not far from here. I was told that there is a hanyo here that wants the Shikon no Tama and if he gets a hold of it, it would mean trouble. I was sent to tell you that you must be careful." Kagome said, unaware if what she said sounded right or not. Her mind was in such a blunder that she said whatever she thought Kikyo was most likely to believe.

Kikyo's eyes narrowed, and she slowly put down her bow.

"Worry about the affairs of your own village, girl." Kikyo snorted, walking around Kagome and back to the village.

"I'm sorry I left my things in your village, may I return with you?" Kagome questioned, unsure if Kikyo would agree.

She only got shrug in reply.

Back to the village they went.

"Onee-sama!" Kaede-baba called out as her and Kikyo walked into the village. Kagome made the plan in her mind. She would grab her things and go back down the well. She was here by mistake. But, unexpectedly, her stomach growled.

Kikyo and Kaede both turned to face her.

"Onee-sama, can she eat with us? It is only kind to feed a visitor. Those weird clothes must be uncomfortable too. Let us give her one of your miko garb." Kaede-baba plead, looking up at Kikyo.

Kikyo placed a hand on the girls head, and reluctantly nodded a frown on her face.

"Thank you, Onee-sama!" Kaede-baba cried. Kagome quickly felt the girls hand slip into hers and her body being tugged along. As they passed Kikyo, Kagome locked eyes with her once again. The look Kikyo gave her sent chills down her spine. _"She doesn't trust me,"_ Kagome thought to herself.

Once washed, dressed, and fed, Kagome wandered outside the hut.

"So, this is how Kikyo and Kaede-baba lived before." Kagome said to herself. The night was cool and far difference from the heat that Tokyo was experiencing. The stars above glimmered, and she wondered if they were the same stars she would see 50 years later, or even centuries ahead. She nonchalantly grabbed her bike an lifted her backpack into the basket. The miko garb she was dressed in felt unfamiliar to her, the soft material was loose and comfortable, but not her.

Not yet at least.

Kagome spotted the well ahead, the tiny clearing shrouded by the trees around. They swayed gently in the night breeze and the full moon provided enough light for her to know where she was going. Kagome threw her things down the well, prayed, and jumped down.

Sitting on the patch of dirt, amid the high walls, Kagome felt her heart sink. Nothing happened.

Nothing at all.

"Why!" she cried to the emptiness around her. "Why, why, why won't you take me back to where I belong?"

She sat there, dazed and confused. She had no idea what to do, where to go, and most importantly, how in the world she could get out of this time.

Sighing, she frowned as she noticed she had to lug her stuff back out of the well, along with herself.

After what seemed like forever, and tediously reaching the edge of the well she felt a claw clasp her hand, the long nails glinting in the moonlight.

"_Inuyasha!"_ his name flashed in her mind, lighting away all the sad darkness that was there. She would finally see him.

A/N: I hope you liked it! It came to me randomly. Let me know if I should continue or not and/or if you want to see what happens next! I need to know if it is worth my time to continue. Not enough feedback will prompt me to delete it.

Thank you!


	2. Chapter 2: Old Man Joyous Smile

A/N: I would like to thank those that reviewed my last chapter. It really gave me the sprit to continue writing. I would like to emphasize however, that this story is going to take the "scenic" route. So please, I humbly request that you bear with me. Sesshomaru will appear in the story eventually, but not just yet. You can't rush the bloom of a flower, just as you cannot rush a thoughtful tale and love. As always, enjoy!

**A Bittersweet Life**

**Chapter 2: Old Man Joyous Smile**

_If I could, I'd hold time back_

_I would never have crossed to the moment you touched my hand_

_If I'd known, I would have pulled away and let myself fall back down_

_I'd let those high wooden walls surround me_

_Keep me there for eternity_

_I would have let the winter snow bury me_

_The heat of summer destroy me_

_The spring cradle me_

_And the lazy fall lull me away_

_I would have let a thousand cranes scatter my body_

_Before I would have touched your hand_

_Never have I wanted to see the face that stole the image of you away_

_Those golden eyes full of ambiguity as to who I was_

_And betraying who you really were_

But the truth was, Kagome couldn't hold back time. Time was as fluid as the river, it kept flowing and nothing could make it halt. Kagome blinked, registering the face in front of her, and instantly regretting letting him help her out of the well.

"Thank you." She murmured, her head hanging down.

"Keh, whatever wrench. I just came to help you because Kikyo and the villagers saw a girl who fell into the well. You must be an idiot if you can manage falling into that thing." He scoffed.

"I…it was an accident." She said, hurt by his words. She wanted to "sit" him and yell at him: "Do you not remember me?" "Can you not tell who I am?" "Kagome! Think, Kagome!"

But she held herself back. There were no beads on his neck, no strings that held them together.

Kagome looked up, and noticed he was eyeing her curiously, finally raising a eyebrow.

"You know, there is a rumor that you look like Kikyo. Well, I don't see it. You may resemble her, but you don't seem to be anything like her. She is beautiful." He said, thus turning to walk away. Kagome wondered if it was the first and last time he would walk out of her life, if she couldn't manage to get back. She could feel the pangs of nausea deep in her gut, but she balled up her fists and held her tears back.

"Is this what you always thought, Inuyasha…? She whispered to herself. "Or is it just the old you speaking, the old you that must have changed with time."

Kagome shook her head. She didn't know. It was difficult for her to come to terms with the fact that what she saw really wasn't what things were. Not the way she recognized them, at least.

It was Seven days, seven nights of aimless wandering along bare and dusty roads. She passed by seven villages, seven villages whose villagers closed their doors and huddled away, shrouding into the shelter they had. She was a miko, yet for those long seven days and nights, she could not even obtain seven meals from them. She felt her bones become thin, her body become week, her heart become harder with the truth that smiled its harsh face at her.

On the eighth day, instead of continuously walking straight, as she had been doing, she felt her body turn down another road. The smoothness of the one she walked away from was replaced by a rocky terrain complemented by equally annoying hills. No wooded forestry surrounded this road, but fields as far as the eye could see. Green and fresh as if spring had just swept her hand over the land. Kagome could feel her mind go blank, as she was unable to think. The sun beat down on her, as the sun decided to shine with malice. She wondered why she had turned down this road, where things only seemed to be more difficult for her. Her legs became sore as she walked farther through the rough land, her breath became labored as her body broke from the eat, and her lips chapped from not stopping for water.

Kagome looked ahead, and saw a tree on a hill. Looking around, she noticed it was the only tree in sight. It stood tall and proud as it cast a long shadow around it, complements of its massive stature.

"So tired…" she wailed, as she trekked forward. She would reach the tree and rest.

As she neared the tree, a loud, clear, and shaky voice infiltrated her ears. It was an old man singing, his voice being carried away with the wind that suddenly appeared, knocking Kagome to the ground.

(The old man' song that he sings:)

_Aki kaze ni SEE how the wind of autumn drives  
Tanabiku kumo no The clouds to left and right,  
Taema yori While in between the moon peeps out,  
More-izaru tsuki no Dispersing with her light  
Kage no sayakesa. The darkness of the night._

Sitting there, somewhat baffled, she listened. He sang the words, over, and over. Looking around, there was no one to listen but her. She even questioned his own presence when she couldn't see him. Rising from the ground, Kagome walked toward the tree, following the sound of his voice. He had not yet stopped singing, but only repeated what he was singing. Behind the tree the old man sat. He did not look up to acknowledge her presence, but he did swing a long cane back and forth as he sang, as if he were trying to mimic the wind and drive the imaginary clouds left and right. His old face was calm, but creased with what looked to be the life of more than a hundred years. Furthermore, she could see his frail bones protruding, emphasizing how thin he was.

"Hello…" Kagome said, sitting down somewhat across from him.

He kept singing.

"Ojiisan, I was wondering if you could direct me to the nearest—"

(WACK) Kagome felt his cane descend upon her head, making her cry out in pain amid the silence of his song.

"Sofu!" he said with a cross expression.

"_But Sofu is such a formal word for grandfather…" _Kagome thought. _"He must be old fashioned."_

Complying with his request, Kagome repeated what she had said, but this time, using "sofu".

Instead of giving her the answer she was seeking, he shook his gaunt head.

"Food"

"Food?" Kagome questioned.

He only gave her a hard look, and pointed his cane to the left. "Food."

Kagome reached for her backpack. She didn't need to go to the village he was pointing her to in order to bring him food.

Reaching into her bag, she took out an apple, and handed it to him. Swiftly, he grabbed it, took a bite, and spit it back in her face.

"Hey!"

(**WACK)** He once again hit her on the head with the cane, and then went back to pointing left as he continued his song.

"Very well, I will bring you food, Sofu," Kagome said, sighing. Why she was bothering helping the old man out was way beyond her.

The village was easy to find, for it was only about a 10 minute walk from the tree. Kagome saw the bustle of the village, something she had lacked to see in the ones she had passed before. The happy voices of villagers flooded her ears as she walked past them. None sent her away, but all seemed to be glad with her presence. Kagome followed a ban of young children that ran through the village, their high giggles sounding like the melody of birds that woke you on a fine morning. Eventually, she spotted a young lady sweeping around her hut, her long hair nearly becoming like the broom she was holding, as it too, nearly touched the ground. Her face was round and pale, reminding Kagome of the moon. She was indeed pretty.

"Excuse me" Kagome said.

The woman only looked up at her and smiled.

"Um, do you by any chance have some food? I offer to do a chore in exchange."

She nodded, handing Kagome the broom as she walked back into her hut.

Taking that as a yes, Kagome began to sweep, clearing away any rubbish that surrounded the woman's hut.

After what seemed like forever, the woman came out carrying a bundle. She took the broom from Kagome's hands, bowed, and handed her the bundle wrapped in a simple cloth.

Kagome could feel the heat rising from the warm rice, and almost taste the fluffy grains on her tongue, finally realizing how hungry she really was.

"Arigato" Kagome said, tears almost welling up in her eyes. "Arigato"

The song had lead her back to the old man, his voice still traveling with the wind. When she sat back in front of him, she noticed he had not moved an inch, but put his cane down the moment she sat. He looked at her with his dark eyes, his singing coming to a halt.

Kagome carefully unwrapped the bundle, and examined what the kind woman had given her. Inside were two things: fluffy white rice and pieces of fish.

Kagome handed him he fruit, in which he grabbed swiftly. This time, it was not pieces of an apple that became splattered all over her face, but fish. She winced, and against the will of her growling tummy, handed him the full bowl of warm rice. She really hoped it wouldn't be thrown on her face too. She would have eaten it with thankful pleasure.

He didn't throw the rice in her face, but ate slowly, his face oddly twisting into a large joyous smile, baring teeth she didn't know he had.

When he finished, he set the bowl down. And for the first time, he spoke the longest sentence she had heard him speak.

"I Hotei, thank you child. I was starving, but you filled me up and ridded me of this useless body made of skin and bones. What you see, wandering child, is in my riddle. Find what is between the clouds and you shall find salvation. May you be blessed."

He pointed his cane straight ahead, and continued singing his song once more.

"Wait! Please, what do you mean?" Kagome questioned.

He said nothing, but pointed her straight ahead.

Kagome reluctantly followed the old man's cane, still continuing down the rocky and unstable path. She repeated the song in her mind, over and over, and to the point that she could repeat it by heart.

"What does he mean by the moon? I'm supposed to stare at the moon all night? I doubt that will solve all my problems." Kagome pondered. Through the seven days (now 8) that she had been in this time period, she had not thought of Inuyasha since the moment he left her at the well. Surprisingly, she found herself more at ease when he wasn't on her mind. All she needed to assert herself with was the fact that once she returned to the rightful era, Inuyasha would be the same, and things would revert back to normal, as if this never happened. There wasn't anything that she could possibly carry away with her from this time period; nothing.

Kagome snapped out of her thoughts and saw a bunch of villagers returning from the rice fields in high spirits. She prayed the villagers there would be as kind as the woman that had given her the rice bowl and fish. She was practically starving, and she had given the old man her last apple, which he spat in her face.

"Hello!" a young man called out to her, his voice light and cheerful.

Kagome looked left and right, making sure he was addressing her.

Assured that he was indeed addressing her, she bowed politely.

"Hello!"

"Our town is not fond of visitors, especially traveling mikos. But as seeing that you look hungry and tired, and possibly too modest to ask, we offer you a place to stay for the night, along with food."

Kagome's face brightened up, and she bowed again. "Arigato—" Kagome said, looking at him curiously when she remembered she didn't know his name.

"My name is Jiro."

"Arigato Jiro-san!"

"Come, it gets cold at night."

Kagome nodded and politely followed, the full moon lighting the way overhead as the clouds parted left and right around it.

A/N: I hope you liked this chapter. Please review and let me know what you think! I'd love to hear your thoughts, concerns, questions, and whatnot.

Credit goes to where it is due. The poem the old man is singing is one by a noble lady named Aki Suke, which can be found in a poem book.

Citation:

_A Hundred Verses from Old Japan (The Hyakunin-isshu)_, tr. by William N. Porter, [1909], at


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